5/25/1960 – 6/26/2023
Joan was a nurse, loving mother, A.A. sponsor, and avid Christian who was killed by a teenager driving 43 mph over the speed limit in Clayton, NC in 2023.
As remembered by her son, Ryan Moeller.
Joan grew up in Long Island, New York as one of nine kids. She worked her whole life as a nurse, caring for others in retirement homes and hospice care. When she wasn’t working, she spent her time loving and caring for her friends and family or volunteering at church or local foodbanks. As her son Ryan described it, “Her hobby was literally just improving the lives of others.”
“She was the rock in so many people’s lives.”
As a member of A.A., Joan’s decades of sobriety inspired countless others. Her sponsees credit her for saving their lives.
Joan loved puzzles, reading, Oreos, calzones, scrabble, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Bruce Springsteen, the beach, the color purple, and Christmas. When she wasn’t helping and supporting everybody in her life she liked to sit by the pool, tanning and talking to her siblings and friends on the phone.
Joan was an avid follower of Christ and prayed often, reciting the Serenity Prayer with her son Ryan whenever he was struggling with something.
“I think about her all the time, how she stayed so loving and so full of joy and so kind in a world that is so cruel and harsh. Her laugh and smile was infectious. Once she started laughing everybody around her couldn’t help but smile, even if we were in public.“
After a work injury, she spent years in physical therapy to regain her mobility without the use of pain medication. “She overcame so much in her life, she started over more times than I can count, and she always kept going. She finally started traveling. In the couple of years before her death she visited Colorado, Mexico, Florida. All of the sacrifices she made were finally paying off.”
“She was going into her silver years glowing. No medical issues whatsoever, no cancer, no heart problems, nothing. Just to be slaughtered in the middle of the day while she ran errands.”
Joan was driving around running errands when she was hit and killed by a teenaged driver going 98 mph in a 55 mph zone. The forces from the crash severed her skull from her spine, killing her instantly.
Her son, Ryan, struggles the most with the driver’s conviction: misdemeanor death by vehicle. The driver who killed Joan was sentenced to 18 months’ probation and community service with no jail time.
“The kid didn’t steal a candy bar, he massacred my sweet mother.”
“I don’t understand how you can choose to go that fast in the middle of the day on a busy road, and when you kill somebody the state says “accidents happen”. What did anybody think would happen at those speeds on a busy road?”
Losing his mother in such a violent, preventable crash has changed Ryan’s perspective on everything. “Now when good things happen to me I actually get sad, because she’s not here to be proud of me. She’s not here to enjoy it with me. Every holiday is hard. Every week before and after every holiday is hard. My birthday is hard. Her birthday, my brother’s birthday, the anniversary of her death, so much of the joy of life has just been taken from us. “
Ryan has joined the fight to push for Intelligent Speed Assistance (ISA) to prevent crashes like the one that killed his mother. “My mom was more than a line item on a court docket, she was more than a statistic. She deserved justice, and we all deserve safer roads.”
“ISA is not the only solution, but it is one we can implement now to at least try and make our roads safer. It is not a perfect fix, but it can and will save lives.“
“ISA is a better solution than just throwing our hands up and ignoring the glaring issue that is the lack of safety and accountability on NC roadways. We all deserve safer roads.”
To learn more about the Stop Super Speeders bill in North Carolina, click here.
North Carolina Families for Safe Streets 